I'm sorry to say that I will have to leave the forums for a while. I just learned this morning that my grandmother from my mom's side of the family just passed away last night and chances are, my plans for the Canadian Meet and Greet is ruined completely. Unfortunately, I have to withdraw my plans for the Canadian Meet and Greet now due to planning expenses for going to see my Grandfather who remains behind.

I will not lie that I am hurt extremely bad, emotionally. My grandmother has been a very strong figure in my life. Being named as her most favourite grandson hurts me even more cause I've always cared about her and made sure she was happy with life.

From what my mother has told me, my grandmother has really, really struggled the last two weeks. She was in the hospital that last week and was released two days ago. At least she passed away in the comfort of her own home.

Now I know some of you Canucks are going to ask, why is this stopping me from going to the Meet and Greet? These plans coincided with me going to visit my grandmother whom I haven't seen in over two years. I had been meaning to go but my financial situation made it difficult over the past twos year until just last month. I was suppose to go in Christmas but those plans were halted due to unforeseen circumstances. You have no idea how much this hurts. I had been looking forward to this and the M&G was to supplement my visit to my grandmother. I knew her time was approaching and I had been trying to just get out there without killing my wallet. Now that my efforts are wasted, I have a lot of thinking to do. Messages my grandmother didn't want me to pass on until her time was up and now that time is here, I have no idea how I'm going to get these messages out.

This has been a very bad week for me. Having missed a day of work (which I've already a thread on that), SGI informing me I have a financial penalty to pay, several of my coworkers refusing to work properly and having to deal with customer's cargo that were badly damaged and having to work with the customers just to make them happy and fix their situation for them just so I can have a job tomorrow is beginning to rapidly wear down on me. I knew this was going to be a bad week thanks to my damn instincts but ignoring it, I'm going to be paying a huge price for it.

I just don't want to leave you guys without some answers. This forum has always been awesome and I'll always support it. For now, I am a lost cause but I am a man that is a realist. I will deal with it one way or another as that's how I've gotten as far as I have. I just don't think I want to talk about paintball until my vacation comes in two weeks. I know my emotions are going to be heavily subdued starting tonight and I'm probably going to revert to my old self so please forgive me if I come across as arrogant. I've always been an individual first, socialist second. While many usually rely on support, I don't.

So at this point, I will part ways and say thank you. I ask nothing of you, fellow OGer's. I simply wish to inform you and nothing more. I shall return in better form when I am ready. Until then, take care and stay out of trouble.

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It's all good Keith. You do what you gotta do. Family before forum.....always.

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Take care.

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I am back for now, still not quite myself in truth. Only a couple of my customers, one yesterday and one today, noticed that I wasn't myself and I had no idea I was acting differently than I usually do. At least I'm thinking straight now and my grandmother's funeral is this Thursday. So I'll pretty much be gone this weekend but I'll be damned if I don't get my Phenom sold. Still got $250 to pay for my Axe and $240 for the paint and another $300 for bus/car rental, food, necessities. Looks like it won't happen so I might not be playing at EMR paintball this year but rather sitting and watching my team play.

It will take a while before I get back to my normal self as it is extremely difficult to control my emotional side. It's like having a firewall destroyed and trying to control all the trojans, viruses and hacking that constantly goes on. Life is never easy but at least I'm willing to face it.

So please forgive me if I fall out of line. I still wish to contribute to the forum but I know I will make some stupid mistakes here and there. Thanks.

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I'm back now and thankfully, my family is much better with me being around. Can't wait to pick up my AXE this Friday. Guess we'll have to wait until it is revealed.

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Glad to hear you're doing better now.

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Back home safely finally but still have to figure out this financial mess I'm in. Let's hope that won't stop me from heading to EMR Paintball to pick up my beauty AXE.

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